You’re a cackling white cat stroking supervillain and you need to build a base on an isolated island and manage an inexhaustible army of minions in order to pour resources into heists and schemes on the world map that all sound like they would probably be really interesting and you can have a lot of fun thinking about what an exciting time your minions must be having as you dawdle around the office micromanaging the positions of the fire extinguishers. But anyway, that’s all you really need in terms of setup. Nor indeed could a world government headed by half a breakfast grapefruit. No, obviously it was inspired by just looking at the way the world is currently being run and realising that a cartoon global dictator couldn’t possibly make things any worse. One that’s let a long enough time elapse since the last decent Dungeon Keeper game that it can finally credibly argue that it’s not just a ripoff of that with a campy retro futuristic pulp spy fiction coat of paint.
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View Full TranscriptĪnd now there’s a new one covering its shameful nethers with the enticing seven veils of sequel but it’s totally just a remake, fuck you. Evil Genius was a base building management game from the before times about being a James Bond villain plotting to take over the world. Just because I ordered the installation of an oubliette in my basement doesn’t mean I have sinister intentions for it, so stop asking questions and get your jackhammer out, Frank. Just because I can envision a vastly more efficient society with myself as absolute dictator doesn’t mean I want to go to that amount of trouble. Just because I’m smarter than everyone else doesn’t mean I look down on people.
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Well, let’s see how far your fucking street smarts and common sense get you when you need someone to figure out how to turn a city-sized clod of oceanic waste plastic into drinkable water and hospital-grade insulin. Speaking as an extremely clever person, I feel a bit personally attacked by the concept of an “evil genius.” Anti-intellectualism is rife in the world today, encouraged no small amount by a media concerned that their advertisers’ claims that their breakfast cereal induces hallucinogenic bliss in woodland creatures might not hold up to rigorous academic study.
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